Random Funny Speeches Contest

I'm back! Haha. Okay. This contest is going to be a tad bit weird, but nevertheless I want to post it up.

Random Funny Speeches Contest!
This contest is about saying some funny random paragraphs or sentences.
Here's one example:


Lets say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But its cold outside your bed. You don't want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toliet,and let loose! You think that all your life has led to this moment! But then you realize! It isn't the bathroom! You're sitll in bed! The feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don't stop! You can't stop! That's what I'm talking about! The truth about strawberry milk! Do you get it?!

This is from Gintama, Ep 11. Here's the super funny video of it:

The Truth about Strawberry Milk! - Youtube

I know this contest is weird.. But you can post any random speeches too!

i wonder whats i can say that is funny...srry if this counts as spamming ^_^

There's a red neck drinking in a bar. So while he's drinking, a large asian man comes at him from behind and strikes him off the stool. "That was a karate chop from Korea!" he yells. The red neck ignores it and sits back down to continue drinking. He is struck again, "That was a judo kick from Japan!" the asian yells. The red neck decides to leave the bar. Half an hour later, the red neck returns. He sees the asian in the bar and knocks him out cold from behind. The red neck says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him THAT was a crowbar from K-mart!".

LMAO.

you just drank a cup of apple juice before u went bed you start dreaming you use the bathroom then u wake up u feel the bed is wet...so u relized u realy wet urself in real life so for some reason you drink another cup of apple juice again and the whole thing happend again and it keeps happening untill morning

Hahaha, its similar to the example. But its good.

U are quite pretty. U are quite ugly too. So together, u are pretty ugly.(==..lame...)

U are quite pure. U are quite evil too. So again...together, u are pure evil....(...)